2015年9月3日 星期四

我想念我自己

女詩人Elizabeth Bishop創作的「One Art/有一種藝術」詩句,才得以發揮畫龍點睛的震撼功力:
One Art  有一種藝術

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
失去的藝術並不難掌控
so many things seem filled with the intent
有太多事物原本就會消失
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
消失並不是災難

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
我們每天都掉東掉西的
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
不管是丟了鑰匙,浪費了時光
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
失去的藝術並不難掌控

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
試著丟失更大,丟失得更快吧
places, and names, and where it was you meant
忘掉你要去旅遊的地方與名字
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.  
這些都不會是災難。

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
我掉了母親給我的錶,天啊,
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
還有我三棟珍貴房產的最後一棟
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
失去的藝術並不難掌控

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
我遺忘了兩個美的城市,還有
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
我曾擁有的領域,兩條河,一個大陸
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
我想念它們,但那也不是災難!

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
即使失去你(爽朗笑聲,我愛的身影)
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
我真的不該否認的,那是如此明顯
the art of losing's not too hard to master
失去的藝術真的不是太難以掌控
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
雖然它看起真的像極了災難!


我還是會一直想起跟母親相處的一些不堪, 無法原諒自己
但是我要怎麼辦呢?我不知道
沒辦法在這件事情上找到自己的平衡,失落和失望以及洩氣和屈辱
就是玻璃心, 是自己太糟糕了
沒有資格


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